I imagine a decent percentage of people already know what pick-a-card readings are, but I’ll fill you in just in case: a generous subset of YouTube mystics offer up somewhere between three and ∞ piles of tarot and oracle cards, having shuffled them with a particular quandary in mind. Will you succeed? Do they like you? Who were you in a past life? The questions could be limitless, but I won’t lie; they often revolve around love or money. Whatever the issue, it’s on you, the viewer, to pick exactly which pile (AKA card) you feel holds the answer for you.
And I freaking love these things, OMG I love love love them, I’m hooked, I watch them constantly, I’m obsessed, give me more, give me ALL of them, GIMME GIMME GIMME
I’ve given up pick-a-card readings for Lent.
Nothing should make you feel like that. If you find yourself feeling like that about anything, don’t get a cute sign that says “Life’s Better with Coffee,” or “It’s always 4:20 here,” or this entire SNL skit. Or on second thought, do, who am I to judge? It’s good to laugh at yourself. But at least recognize an addiction when you’ve got one.
Like I have.
My name is Heidi, and I am a pick-a-card addict.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from my recent theological explorations, it’s that many things deemed “evil” by organized religion actually do pose a bit of a threat. I wouldn’t go so far as to call tarot Satanic or anything (obviously), but I think we can agree that consulting an oracle multiple times a day, losing faith in your own ability to independently make decisions, and attempting to pry into the minds of others is kind of, ya know, a problem. Suffice it to say, it’s not exactly the mark of a mature, self-actualized person rooted firmly in their values and prepared to deal with whatever life throws at ’em. The Bible or whatever was just giving us a healthy heads up.
Like most things in life, though, it’s all about moderation, and I for one trust that we can strike that balance ourselves – without a hierarchical authority telling us to avoid every little thing that might potentially become a temptation in the wrong (read: my) hands. It’s part of life – especially in a culture of capitalist excess and hungry escapism – for us to learn how to consciously vet what we consume. And it’s up to you to sort that out for you.
But as long as you’re reading this, here’s my process. It’s a triple-H approach, I just decided because I can. With three H’s, it’s clearly the real deal – though you do have to put in effort pronouncing the “H” in “honor.”
Halt
Cut things off when they get out of hand. This will give you the peace and quiet to gauge just how disruptive your thing was in your life, whatever it is. Chocolate, beer, chocolate beer, chocolate with chocolate beer – it could be anything, but a break will tell you fairly fast just how heavily you lean on your crutch and just how well you walk without it.
Hone-in
Decide for yourself where to go from there. “They” say it takes 21 days to break a habit. Haven’t you heard that? I’ve heard that a bunch. I’ve never looked it up, but I’ve heard it, so it must be true. Either way – in some cases, maybe you don’t need to cut your thing out – maybe you just need to cut back. One chocolate beer per day might be fine. Or one per week. Maybe, however, you need to really disrupt the pattern, as I’m doing with pick-a-cards – throwing a whole wrench into the helpless machinery of my Libra indecision. It all depends on the person, the situation, and the circumstances. And of course, the astrological sign.
Honor
Here’s where my approach might differ from those of others. I don’t believe in demonizing things just because they happen to be good at undermining us. Who wants to make the wolf bigger anyway? Rather than placing the blame on the offending chocolate beer, instead try using your time away from it to examine why you were so drawn to it to begin with. What kind of void did it fill for you? How could you fill that void in a healthier way? And why did you originally like it, before it became a mindless compulsion?
Quick disclaimer: I’m not a doctor or in any way professionally equipped to issue sound advice on addiction. I’m a freaking tarot reader. I write fiction. Magical realism, you guys, not real realism. But my moon is in Pisces, so I do have plenty of first hand experience with this shit.
As I was saying.
Almost everything that weasels through our defenses to take advantage of our personal weakness has a pure, innocent appeal – otherwise we wouldn’t have been attracted to it to begin with. I’m not talking about, say, heroin – something known as highly addictive from the on-set, and rarely sought by people in the absence of pain and desperation most of us will never have to face. I’m talking about chocolate beer. Coffee. Weed. Pick-a-card readings. Things with little to no stigma that are genuinely attractive to many people, people with or without noteworthy trauma, dogged health issues, or excessive financial strain – including people who don’t become addicted at all. For this reason, rather than writing your habit off permanently in red ink like it’s dangerous – thus weirdly empowering it by turning it into some kind of forbidden fruit – it might be wise to simply remember what it was like in the beginning, when things were simple.
And I’m going to do that now. Because I do love tarot. Although I can abuse it at times (particularly in the passive, often mindless realm of YouTube) I love and respect tarot as a potential path to self-knowledge, growth, and spiritual wisdom. I have no desire to give up pick-a-cards forever – I’d just like to be sure I’m watching them because I want to, not because I need to.
So here is my non-alphabetically-inspired list of why I love pick-a-card readings.
They can sharpen your intuition
The process of “picking a card” is less simple than one might expect – especially at first. Most of us have been trained to rely heavily on the logical side of our brain, where all manner of things can distract: the way the cards are stacked, their colors, the objects they are lying near. I’ve found that I only really get accurate reads, though, when I choose from my heart. This usually happens quickly, sometimes seemingly before I even open the video. I’ll just know. And by doing at least one pick-a-card a day for several months (not proud) I’ve found my ability to just know in other areas of my life has gone up as well.
They can boost your confidence
To say I’ve had low self-esteem in my life is a laughable understatement; my self-worth issues have – multiple times – nearly driven me to the grave. When my own tarot readings (e.g. I did them for myself, with my own cards, like a real human) suggested I learn how to love myself, pick-a-card readings proved a magnificent boon. I can’t count the number of YouTube offerings along the lines of What do people admire about you? What makes you beautiful? What gifts do you bring to the world? It’s a treasure-trove of self-brainwashing – especially if your intuition is on point from all those other, less necessary readings like What should I do today? If done right, you end up hearing the same themes brought up again and again, in a self-validating cycle of feel-good, confidence-boosting woo.
They can teach you
As a tarot reader myself, one of the primary draws of YouTube was simply to watch the other readers at work. Are they more traditional in their approach? How heavily do they rely on intuition? What kind of spreads do they use? You can learn from these things. It’s like school. See? I’m not an addict. I don’t have a problem. I’m getting educated.
They’re enjoyable
I mean, let’s just be honest. Some of these videos run on like your every dream is about to come true. Some of them are scandalously shocking. Some are laugh-out-loud hilarious. At the end of the day, they’re just stories. Little stories told from prompts on randomly shuffled cards. And no one can deny it: YouTube’s got some first rate story tellers.
They’re actually pretty helpful
When you’re not looking for the tarot equivalent of a lottery ticket (When will I get to move to Cinque Terra? . . . No, no, sooner – like this year when? No . . . forget it, I’m trying again), you can actually glean some serious wisdom from tarot, even on YouTube. Especially on YouTube, in my case. You see, while I’ve been told I’m top notch at reading for others, I’m woefully bad at reading for myself. My biases and complexes are just too strong. In a phrase, I assume the worst. But my own prejudices can’t sneak in so easily when someone else is speaking. I trust my favorite readers, and when I trust, I listen.
Readers I trust
Reading Time With Quinn – Not just a talented reader, but also probably the single best human alive. I’ve yet to find someone so genuine and sweet and sincere anywhere, on or offline, on planet earth. Quinn heals others just by existing.
Nomad Tarot – Beautiful and incisive. I always appreciate the work this woman puts in – often smudging before readings and giving keen (occasionally unforgiving) advice.
Khloee Taylor – I resonate more with Khloee’s readings the deeper I get into reiki, though I don’t think she’s into reiki herself. She does, however, speculate on why I might feel that draw. Certain readers and viewers, she feels, simply go through similar things. They walk on similar paths, they “vibe” in a way that (for lack of a better word) “matches.” I find this to be true. Many YouTube readers don’t “work” for me, and I feel that disconnect immediately. But Khloee’s readings are spot-on, and her little side-tangents about spirituality and esoterica are always fun.
Eso Tarot – This sweet, sweet girl is the friend that everyone should have. If I’m feeling down, she fully lectures me about how much the world needs me. If someone has hurt me, she threatens to fight them. No joke. This girl rolls up her sleeves and goes hard. And it’s adorable. And I appreciate it immensely.
Teacup Tarot – A very recent discovery of mine, I don’t have much to say about her aside from that, energetically, she’s a “match.” The readings of hers that I’ve listened to have been clear and correct and left me feeling closer to myself – which, ideally, is kinda the point.
Sunchild Tarot – Another new discovery, and such a refreshing, positive vibe. Plus, okay, his voice also gives me ASMR. Listen, world: if I find your readings accurate and you also give me ASMR, I’m afraid we’re married. So it’s over, Sunchild Tarot. You’re married now. To me. I’m sorry, but nothing can be done.
Avalon Intuitive – Somewhat lower-key than many YouTube readers, she doesn’t dress her readings up in anything particularly fancy. She just sits you down, and in her quiet way tells you exactly wtf is up – with reliable and often striking precision – then gets on with her day like a boss.
And finally, my unwavering favorite, the immovable queen, Roseology. Exquisitely accurate and spooky psychic, she siphons simply faultless details from the cards. In fact, she’s so particularly on target for me that it’s hard to believe she can speak for others – yet she’s plenty popular. So how many of me are there? And what is up with her? Perhaps soulmates never have to meet. Maybe they’re just out there, tied to you at birth and psychically linked, feeling the same feelings, dreaming the same dreams – guiding you, helping you, affecting you without ever knowing your name.
Sigh.
This is exactly the type of thing I’d do a pick-a-card reading about.
Oh well.
Happy Lent, everybody.